it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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