Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
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