I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
