Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
