Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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