This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
