How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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