No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize