Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
is that a dick in a sweater?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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