I just pynch a tree in the face
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
