i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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