wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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