I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
