do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
