wakey wakey hands off snakey
I puked a lego.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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