I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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