I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize