I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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