Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
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A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
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Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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