i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
