You made me cry and you don't even care
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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