You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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