He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
