Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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