I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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