I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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