so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I have aggressive nipples.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
