So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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