Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
