The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
