Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
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I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
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i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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