Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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