Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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