Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
