sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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