brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You are a genius and a whore.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
