That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
