Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize