I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
sarcasm needs its own font
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
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he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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