Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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