he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
