Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
