Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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