i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize