Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
