Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
