The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
