I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
