Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
