Christians are straight up FREAKS
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
