I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
