Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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