1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize