i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
