Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He passed out mid-signature
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize