Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
