Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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