did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
